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Tips for memorable Mother’s Day

Posted on May 15, 2012 05:03:34 AM

Or maybe, like many others, you’re just not sure how to say ‘Thank you.’

The National Retail Federation estimates consumers will spend $18.6 billion on Mother’s Day this year, about $152.52 for the average person celebrating the holiday. But iReporters said their most special Mother’s Day memories rarely dealt with the objects they unwrapped, but rather, the ways people showed they cared.

Here are stories to inspire more memorable Mother’s Days — eight ways to feed, care for, teach and love those who did it for you.

Give the gift that can come only from you

iReporter Veronica Pantaleon Mendoza‘s daughter was 4 last year and had really only begun to draw. One day, with coaching from her 13-year-old brother, the little girl delivered a few pieces of folded paper to her mom, who was hard at work at her computer at their home in the Philippines.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!” her daughter said.

They were drawings of the family among flowers, the mother in dangly earrings (the little girl’s favorite) and mother and daughter, surrounded by hearts, “the two of us showing how much we love each other.”

The pictures now hang at eye level in Mendoza’s office, so she can see them while she works.

“When I see these drawings, I am reminded of all the blessings God has given the three of us, my family,” Mendoza said. “I am encouraged and inspired at how my daughter sees love and joy in simple things. I feel successful as a mother to simply feel her enthusiasm.”

Her teen son is no slouch, either, Mendoza said — drawings, chocolates and roses means a lot, but it’s even better than he sweeps up, folds laundry and says “thank you.”

“He helps me care for his young sister and always surprises me with a kiss and a hug,” she said. “All that, and my daughter’s drawings, are the gifts I love most.”

Dining out? Choose a special spot

The National Retail Federation reports that about 54.3% of Mother’s Day celebrants say they’ll be going out for brunch or dinner.

When iReporter Nicholas Pegues and his brother took their mother, Marilyn Hegman-Davis, to brunch in 2010, they didn’t choose any old pancake spot. They surprised her with a trip to Paulette’s, a Memphis institution for nearly 40 years. Even more special, Pegues said, was that his mother often spoke fondly of dining there when she was younger.

“I’m a college student. Even if you’re on a tight budget, you can still give your mother a quality gift,” Pegues said. “Paulette’s means something — it’s a trademark. She was real surprised. ‘You’re listening!’ “

This year, he said, they’ll have another meal out — no spoiling the surprise!

Give new moms something to remember

iReporter Noelle Kaye Wilson celebrated her first Mother’s Day last year with the best gift, her 4-month-old daughter.

But her husband had a little something else in mind: a pearl necklace, “a timeless treasure that I can wear and think of my daughter and husband every time.”

This year, Wilson said, her daughter is still a little too young for homemade cards or gifts, but she’s just learning what it means to show love.

“I’m excited for Mother’s Day this year because my daughter is now 15 months old and she can show affection now,” Wilson said. “She loves to give hugs and kisses and is my little shadow.”

Mother’s Day: My Mother’s Day gift to myself

Take a trip — or celebrate a big one

Mother’s Day usually means a back yard get-together for iReporter Kathi Cordsen‘s family, but in 2002, Cordsen and her mother took a week-long trip around Washington. They took in the scenery on long drives to Delaware and Virginia, and visited sites like the Iwo Jima Marine Corp War Memorial statue.

Time together was precious, Cordsen said. During the trip, Cordsen’s mom blurted out to her daughter that she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Ten years later, Cordsen is happy to say her mom is healthy and living in a retirement community. She comes to visit about twice per year, and always loves a cards or flowers in between.

“We had a wonderful time and even though 10 years have passed, neither one of us (has) forgotten one moment of this trip,” Cordsen said.

The women did forget one thing on the trip: a camera. So Cordsen picked up postcards of all their stops along the way. She made a collage of all the sites they visited, and still has it today.

Give her what she always wanted — for you

iReporter Sandra Kent said she’ll always treasure the handmade cards hers sons made for her, and she often buys clothes and jewelry for her own mom, who loves to dress up.

But this year presented the golden opportunity to fulfill a dream.

“My 90-year-old mom always said, ‘Sandra, I want to make it to Alex and Michael’s graduation,’ ” she said. “I want to see them get their diploma from college.’”

Kent’s son Alex is graduating on May 12 from the University of Oklahoma with a double major in economics and business — the same school where Kent’s father graduated.

They will go to Alex’s graduation this Saturday as a family, and celebrate everyone there.

Remember her, honor her and share her story

Mother’s Day 2011 was the last one iReporter Jannet Walsh was able to celebrate with her mother, Margaret, who had a stroke in 2008. In her last few years, Walsh always shot photos and videos of their visits together, and with Walsh’s West Highland White Terrier, Andrew.

“My mother had a dog just like him, so I would tell her it was her dog, and she would hold onto his leash, even in bed up to the last few weeks before she passed away,” Walsh said. “I was with my mother to the end, holding her hand as she passed away.”

As Mother’s Day approached, Walsh wanted a way to remember her mother and ‘best friend,’ even as she grieved. She decided to build the memories she captured during those last few years into a video memorial — images of her mother with Andrew or quiet moments at her gravesite.

iReport: Watch Walsh’s video tribute to her mom

“I wasn’t sure if I should put the ending part in the video with me crying, but thought that was a real reflection of a love for a mother, and missing her,” Walsh said. “I thought it flowed good to tell the story with few words, just show my mother as she was — happy, and loved till the end.”

Learn to understand each other

iReporter Loriann Nickmann‘s mother, Nancy Taylor, had always been demure, a little shy, but never critical or overbearing. She’d wanted her daughter to be the same, and even took her to Sears for weekly sewing and cooking classes “for what seemed an eternity.”

Decades later, Nickmann still wasn’t much of a cook, but they deviated from the usual hotel brunch on Mother’s Day 1991, and had a cookout at Nickmann’s San Diego home with her mom, her step-dad and one of her brothers. The steak was overcooked, Nickmann remembers, but it was still a nice meal.

There was something else, too: Taylor brought along a gift for her daughter, her not-so-June-Cleaver with a salty sense of humor — “Truly Tasteless Jokes” by Blanche Knott.

“Oh, I knew you’d love it,” she remembers her mom saying.

It was “completely out of character” for her mom, but Taylor asked her daughter to read aloud some of the bawdy jokes.

“I did read some of the more tame jokes and can still see her laughing and throwing her head back a couple of times,” Nickmann said. “It is a memory I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.”

Nickmann’s mother died from colon cancer in December of that year. Friends who live nearby will deliver flowers to her mother’s grave this week. She still has the book of jokes her mother gave her, plus scrapbooks and photos of her mom, like those from her 1979 wedding. Over time, Nickmann said, she sees even more of her mother in herself.

“Make the time to work out your stuff with your parent, ” Nickmann said. “Just take 10, 15 minutes and reflect on your mom. Ideally, we’d all like to have a good relationship with our Mom. Like any relationship, friendship or marriage, it takes two to participate and do the work necessary for a successful relationship.”

Mother’s Day: Vanessa Williams and mom on stardom, struggle

Celebrate what it really means to be a mom

Mother’s Day was a touchy subject for iReporter Wendy Bowers. Her mom had walked out when she was 18, and Bowers had tried for years to become pregnant without success. She had almost convinced herself she wasn’t meant to be a parent.

But three years after she gave up on having a baby, Bowers discovered that she was pregnant. Six weeks earlier than expected, little Nathan arrived.

Mother’s Day became a favorite holiday for Bowers again, replacing the painful memories from the past. That first year, Bowers’ husband was out of town, and Nathan, only 10 months old, was sick with a stomach bug. Bowers said she spent the day holding him between loads of laundry.

“The only thing that he wanted the entire day was to be cuddled by his mommy — and even though it was definitely not the most glamorous part of the job, I would not have been anywhere else in the world that day,” she said. “I wouldn’t trade that first Mother’s Day for anything — I waited to be a mommy for far too long not to appreciate just how lucky I was, puke and all.”

Now Nathan is a beautiful, healthy 4-year-old boy, but she’ll always remember that day of snuggles.

“I’m pretty sure Mother’s Day will always be a reminder to me of just how incredibly lucky I am to even be a mom,” she said.

How will you celebrate Mother’s Day? Tell us in the comments, or share your most memorable Mother’s Day moments on iReport!

Dieting companies target men

Posted on Apr 3, 2012 05:02:00 AM

Editor’s note: This is the fourth part of a six-week Friday series on the perceptions of beauty. Last week, we looked at body image issues for children and teens, focusing specifically on eating disorders. Next week, our stories will focus on self-acceptance.

He knew the doctor would give him bad news. He’d known it for years; he needed to lose weight.

But as he sat in the doctor’s office a few weeks ago and listened to his numbers — cholesterol and blood pressure, both too high — he resolved to change. This time, he decided to do something different, something drastic.

After 10 years of talking about losing weight without much success, Romig decided to put his health and family first by leaving his high-pressure politics job.

“I knew I was doing the right thing, but I felt terrible,” said Romig, 34, who lives in Georgia.

While the tactic might be unusual, Romig is hardly alone in his struggle with weight gain or his reluctance to try to lose it. More than 30% of men older than 20 are overweight, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Men face the issue at the same rate as women, but until recently, ads for weight loss products mostly featured female faces and voices. According to ad industry watchers, the female-centric advertising had the inadvertent effect of scaring men away.

Enter a slew of new ads from the biggest names in dieting: Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig.

Weight Watchers took a direct approach, with television spots that explicitly tell men it’s OK to diet. One commercial proclaims “Weight Watchers online is for men, too,” and, as a nod to the brand’s more feminine advertising of yore: “It’s not all rainbows and lollipops.”

“Women really appreciate the fact that we are recognizing it as a widespread societal problem,” said David Burwick, president of Weight Watchers North America.

Beyond the multimillion-dollar campaign lies the hope for company expansion. Burwick estimated that only one-quarter of men who have weight problems actively seek to lose weight. That means plenty aren’t spending money on weight loss products and programs, at least not yet.

Aside from the attention paid by Madison Avenue, some men said they’re learning they need more than just a plan; they need people to hold them accountable and to relate to their struggles.

Lloyd Dinwiddie, an entertainment correspondent who goes by the name Gyant, said men don’t often talk about their diets with other men, something he said he wishes would change. Though his nickname comes from his 6-foot-8-inch frame, Dinwiddie said not everyone appreciates his desire to slim down, and after years of diets, he’s trying new techniques.

“Women look at me like I’m crazy. They say, ‘You’re just big, Gyant,’” he said. “At 310 pounds, every book in the world is telling me I need to lose weight.”

Revealing journey as woman reduces weight by half

Dinwiddie said he applauds Weight Watchers and other companies that focus on men’s health, but an “average Joe”-style spokesman would work better than a Charles Barkley or Mariah Carey, who have trainers and chefs to keep them focused.

Dinwiddie’s current dieting effort includes a lot more chicken salads and outdoor activities, with a goal of losing 80 pounds. He has turned to an online community, hoping the discussion will serve as communal motivation.

“It’s actually been a collective support system in a roundabout way ’cause in six months, if I’m not following it, they are going to be like, ‘Yo, what’s going on?’”

Romig, the man who quit his politics job, said he started using Weight Watchers in 2003, after his weight grew to 225 pounds. He lost 30 pounds then, but the positive momentum slowed after a big move and a new, stressful job. Through a few more jobs and one more move, Romig kept his Weight Watchers account, although he wasn’t using it much.

“Every month, there goes that $16.95,” he joked.

CNN anchor: Dangers of labels and my bulimia

Work and volunteer commitments soaked up his time. To make decisions about lifestyle changes, he sat with his wife of nine years and ran through scenarios, including how to handle fatigue and soreness during weight loss, and questions about whether he could keep up the momentum.

It all added up to one thing: Making time to get healthy, even if it meant reducing his work hours and relying more heavily on the income of his wife, an attorney.

Social media has already proven to be helpful on the journey, he said. When he shared news of his resignation and intention to run in a 5K on Facebook, he got all positive comments, he said. Romig keeps himself honest with his phone and other technology that allows him to keep tabs on his progress; his goal is to go from 241 to 180 pounds.

But those hyper-masculine ads? Romig said they didn’t have much effect on him. The real motivation came from his wife, who told him, “I worry that you’re not going to be here.”

Since last week, Romig has lost 9 pounds. He said everything else, even his job, is now secondary.

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